Allen Walker and the Asia Branch
by pikaree1
Summary: Once upon a time, there was a maiden with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony. There was also a boy with hair as white as snow, a scar as red as bloo, and an arm as black as ebony, and the tyrannical king was trying to kill him with the help of some scheming Noah. Luckily, the boy had good friends. Rated for character death. I think you know who.


**(A/N: I don't own D. Gray-Man or Snow White. This story is based on the version written by Hans Christian Anderson since I could read it online in five minutes instead of go through the hassle of hunting down the Disney movie in the library or on an illegal streaming site and waste an hour. There are also rather obvious references to Eyeshield 21, One Piece, and Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle which I also do not own.)**

Once upon a time, there was a man. Actually, there were many men, and there still are, but the one in question was the king of a nation. This nation was known as the Cross Kingdom. You see, it had previously been known as the Noah kingdom and was ruled by another man known as the Millennium Earl, but after one of his most powerful subordinates went rogue and destroyed most of the royal family, the Earl king was forced to flee with his last remaining family member, Road. The rogue (he was called Neah) ended up dying in his effort, and the crown went to his friend and partner-in-crime, Cross Marian.

Cross renamed the kingdom after himself, only barely escaping direct accusations of ego-boosting by claiming that the name was because of the holy organization he belonged to, the Black Order. The fact that it was the same as his own name was mere coincidence and also of no consequence.

(This explanation was provided at gunpoint to a particularly cocky blasphemer. Cross was holding the gun.)

For a brief while, life was peachy- Cross, being a womanizing, gambling drunkard, was always racking up debts, and the kingdom's vast treasury was able to pay all of it, much to the delight of a certain beansprout. Furthermore, the fact that he was now royalty kept new debts to a minimum; he got fine wine and women along with his new status, and the casinos were too terrified of what he might do with his power if he lost to them too much.

Sadly, everything had to end eventually. Cross was shot in the head, though the body was never recovered. He was presumed dead, and the kingdom was left kingless. Some suggested making it a queendom and instating his able colleague General Klaud Nyne as the new monarch, but it was shot down by the Order. Instead, they placed one of their higher ups from the Central Agency called Malcolm C. Leverrier in charge. He simply wasn't chaotically powerful enough to inherit the will of the D, and he wasn't a powerful mage, but he wanted to feel important, so his middle initial became C regardless of what his middle name was. Many within the Order believed it was Jerk- of course, it wasn't _that_ tame, but for the sake of the children, the _actual_ name has been replaced. In any case, Leverrier began his tyrannical reign and made life awful for everyone.

Why did no one consider an heir, you ask? Well, Cross had no children, and if he did, thank goodness it never knew him. If it had to be raised by him... may God have mercy on the poor child. However, he _did_ have an apprentice. This apprentice was strong in spirit because of the grueling training he had been subjected to. He was skilled at gambling (he never lost), strong at fighting (he trained each day), and polite to a fault (Cross did not manage to corrupt him there). _That_ is where our true story lies. Not the boy's skills, the boy.

And now we begin our tale...

* * *

"When nine months had passed, the queen gave birth to a daughter whose skin was as white as snow, whose lips were as red as blood, and whose hair was as black as ebony. And she named her Snow White; then the queen died."

"Finally, someone died! Is the action starting?"

"Timothy!" _SMACK_.

"Ow! What'd I do?!"

"You said something Emilia didn't like, clearly."

White as snow.

Red as blood.

Black as ebony.

 _Technically_ this could describe one of the group of three. His hair was the soft white of snow, his face was adorned with a scar as red as blood, and his left arm was as black as ebony. His name was Allen Walker, and he was currently sitting with one of the castle doctors, a young woman named Emilia Galmar, and a page, Timothy Hearst. He was also close to falling off of the log he was seated on because of his chortles.

"Shut up!" Timothy shouted back. Allen just grinned and shrugged.

Then he really did fall off the log in order to avoid being stabbed by a sharp, pointy metal stick.

"The king ordered your presence," the aggressor said passively, sheathing his sword. "Better get going, moyashi."

"My name is _Allen_ , JerKanda!" Allen snapped back. Emilia blushed as she stared at the dark-haired soldier, and Timothy just grumped. Kanda shrugged and stormed off, presumably back to the training room. Nevertheless, orders were orders, so Allen rose, bid goodbye to his company, and went to the throne room.

(Emilia and Timothy went with him anyway. With his frighteningly bad sense of direction, they both knew that it was up to them to get him to their ruler posthaste.)

"Allen Walker," King Leverrier thundered when they finally made it. "You are to be put to death immediately."

There was a brief, disbelieving silence. Then:

"...I'm sorry, sir, what was that?" Allen asked politely, certain that he had misheard. He had been a loyal soldier of the Black Order for a year now. It wasn't very long compared to others (Kanda, for example, had fought for the Order longer than Allen had been alive. When asked about how that was possible considering he only had three years of seniority over the other, he merely unsheathed his katana and started a fight), but in that time he had accomplished much and proved his loyalty many times over.

"You are to be put to death immediately," King Leverrier repeated. The irritation staining his tone now bordered on rage.

Naturally, Timothy jumped to his friend's defense. The nine-year-old had never been one to listen to authority figures, and he wasn't about to start now, especially not to _this_ jerk. "Why?!" he demanded in the petulant way only a child, a teenager, and a supremely immature adult can. "He's been working really, really hard for you for a long time and now you're just giving him the axe?! What kind of heartless guy are you?!" The king tried to respond, but the child didn't give him the chance to before bringing up an extremely good point. "Allen's really popular around here, you know?! Unlike _you_ , he's nice and polite and helps folks! Unless they're Kanda, but he doesn't really count 'cause he's a jerk to everyone! If you kill Allen, there's gonna be a revolt, and you're gonna die!" Having made his point, Timothy crossed his arms and nodded. Emilia stammered apologies for the child, but they went unheard as King Leverrier pondered this predicament.

The boy had a point. Allen Walker technically had done nothing, and he was innocent in the eyes of everyone except the king and his lackeys. Well, and Kanda who always got pissed off by Allen's self-sacrificing tendencies, but as Timothy had said, he didn't count. This was quite troublesome indeed. However, the king was then hit with a _brilliant_ idea. "All of you get out," he ordered, his mind racing as he plotted how to set everything into place. The trio did not have any problem with the order as none of them wanted to be in the scumbag's presence any longer than they had to, so they left.

At lunch hour, Allen was in the cafeteria (as usual) with his friends.

"Yuu-chan said you were called down to meet with the king," mentioned Lavi, the grandson and apprentice of the castle historian. Actually, Kanda had _roared_ it when the man wouldn't stop pestering him and accompanied the answer with a swipe from Mugen, his beloved katana.

Allen gulped down a large mouthful of roasted duck and nodded, his brow furrowing. "Yeah. He was... trying to put me to death."

"What?!" Lenalee and Johnny stood immediately, bowling Lavi over in their concern for their younger friend.

"C-Calm down!" Allen yelped. "I'm fine! Timothy made him decide otherwise!" He gestured to the youngest member of their group. Timothy grinned smugly.

"That's right. I shut down Mustache with all the best arguments. I could be a lawyer," he boasted. Unfortunately, his attempt to be cool was ruined by the handkerchief the ever-motherly Emilia was attacking his face with.

"Allen Walker."

The group looked up and saw a man with two moles on his forehead. He also had a blonde braid and red-brown eyes, but the only thing the group registered was the moles. Lavi mentally began calling him Two Dot.

"My name is Howard Link. I have been assigned to observe you for any suspicious activity. I thought that my job would be easier if we were on slightly friendly terms, so I baked this pie. Please, help yourself."

The next thing they registered was the pumpkin-filled pastry in the box he was carrying. Allen plunged his fork into the delicacy without a second thought. "Thank you!" he sang out. Lavi grabbed his arm hastily.

"Wait, Allen!" he screeched. "He just said he's observing you for suspicious activity!"

Allen blinked. "...But he brought pie," he pointed out. "And I can't let something so delicious-looking go uneaten! It would be both unfair and a waste!" Lavi and Johnny collapsed, Lenalee and Emilia sighed, and Timothy just continued to chow down on his burger.

Link stared at his new charge with no small degree of shock. He had heard of the young man's appetite, but he had had no idea that Allen's love for food was _this_ overwhelming.

"So... why are you observing Allen?" Lenalee asked while Allen and Lavi resorted to fisticuffs over the pie.

Link's answer was blunt and succinct. "Because I was ordered to." At the girl's frown (and tapping of her foot which was encased in a boot that had magical powers and could probably kill him if she so chose), he relented and gave her a more acceptable answer. "King Leverrier claims that Allen Walker harbors the soul of the fourteenth Noah. As all Noah are untrustworthy, he has been deemed a dangerous individual. I am to watch him and report if the fourteenth shows signs of awakening."

Lenalee frowned again and glanced at her friend. How could Allen- sweet, kind, considerate Allen- possibly be dangerous to the kingdom? The most he had ever done was property damage when he sparred with Kanda...

* * *

The king paced around the room. Once he was satisfied that any spies present had left out of boredom, he wheeled around to face an ornately decorated mirror. "Mirror, mirror, on the stand, who is the most powerful in the land?" he boomed.

A black curtain drew itself across the reflection, and a face emerged from depths of the mirror- that of a man with a fashionable mole under his eye. His hair, curly and dark, fell across his forehead. Why is that detail important? Well, it hid the stigmata. "My king, you are powerful, 'tis true," he began. His eyes glittered evilly. "But Allen Walker is more powerful than you." He wasn't lying, either. The boy had both physical prowess and no small degree of support from the plebes, particularly chefs throughout the kingdom.

The Millennium Earl had prepared for this day for a long time- first the king was anonymously given a 'magic mirror' as a coronation gift along with an instruction manuel. King Leverrier asked the 'mirror' who the most powerful person in the kingdom was day after day, and day after day, the 'mirror' lied and said it was him. However, Neah was close to awakening, and the Earl had ordered Tyki to do something to get Allen killed. Tyki wasn't too keen on the idea (he dropped by the castle on odd jobs from time to time and greatly enjoyed playing poker with the boy), but orders were orders. If he had to ensure the death of someone whose company he liked to bring back to life someone who was probably going to kill his own family, then so be it. Even if he didn't get the logic behind it at all. So yeah, as much as he'd miss his poker buddy, Allen Walker had to die.

King Leverrier did not take the news well. "WHAT?!" he roared, sweeping important-but-unimportant documents off of the table. "HOW CAN THAT BE?! I ASSIGNED HIM A GUARD AND SPREAD RUMORS OF HOW HE'S DANGEROUS AND NOT TO BE TRUSTED! CLEARLY I SHOULD HAVE NO MORE COMPETITION FOR THE THRONE!"

Tyki would have rolled his eyes if the charade allowed him to. A guard and some rumors were _not_ going to work that quickly. "That is why I said that he has to be killed," he said patiently. Honestly, the _people_ he had to work with in order to accomplish his goal... "It's a foolproof method."

"Yes... Hmm... I suppose so," Leverrier muttered, resuming his pacing. Tyki followed him with his eyes, poking his head out of the mirror a bit when he couldn't keep track. "Very well, then. I'll assign someone to get rid of him."

Tyki smirked and retreated back into the mirror. "Very good, sir."

* * *

This time it was _Kanda_ who was summoned to the throne room. The man was very irritated by this as his training had been interrupted, but the chain of command dictated that he be here.

In any case, he was very conflicted at the order he had been given.

"Kill Allen Walker and bring his left arm back to me in a casket," King Leverrier repeated, taking the man's silence as confusion. "And be quick about it. Get going!"

Well. This was a dilemma. Kanda strode out of the room, his brow furrowed as he scowled. His grumpy expression was nothing new, but it reached a new level of grumpiness this time. To kill or not to kill, that was the question...

He continued to think about it as he went to the cafeteria for dinner, his trusty katana at his side. No one noticed his deep pondering; it didn't project on his face. All they noticed was the usual grumpy frown.

What they _were_ surprised by, however, was how he grabbed Allen by the back collar of his shirt as he passed and dragged him away. Allen protested and fought and struggled, sure, but Kanda had gathered so much momentum by then that he was like one Tetsuma Jo- that is, a human locomotive. Everyone watched in shock as the two nemeses departed. Well, except Link and Timcanpy. Link just recorded the event and followed them. Timcanpy grabbed a few mitarashi dango before also following suit.

"What's all this about, Kanda?!" Allen demanded. The samurai did not deign to answer until they had reached a large field. There he released his archfrenemy and gave him a good hard shove in the direction of the woods.

"Leverrier ordered me to kill you, but blazes if I'm going to listen to him," the man growled. He hated the king with every fiber of his being for reasons Allen did not entirely understand- the little understanding he did have was because the king was a stupid prick of a dictator who was worse than scum. Supposedly the rest of the reason was tied to how Kanda had served the order longer than Allen had been alive, so the snowy-haired teenager didn't bother to press for more details. "I'll come back to kill you later, after he's dead. Komui's devised a plan, and crazy as he is, he's a genius, so it should work." And Kanda's beloved Mugen may or may not have had a rather violent part in that plan that involved separating Leverrier's bigot head from the rest of his body. "So get going, moyashi." Then he pivoted on his heel and stalked off, leaving Allen to shout rude names at him and Link to scribble even more furiously into the blasted notebook. Kanda stopped, sicced the underworld monsters on it, and then resumed walking while the inspector grieved the death of his notebook.

After Kanda disappeared from sight, Allen took stock of the situation. What should he do? He had a death sentence hovering over his head (and a stalker hovering over his shoulder), so he obviously couldn't return to the kingdom. As for Link, he contemplated knocking him out and then running away, but he quickly gave in to the fact that the man would inevitably return to the kingdom upon awakening and tell Leverrier that he was alive, so that was out. Instead, he started walking into the forest. It seemed a good a bet as any. Link started to walk back to the castle, but Allen yanked him back.

"Link, your orders are to observe me for suspicious activity," he clarified when the blonde started to protest. "Not to report to Leverrier about how Kanda failed to fulfill _his_ mission. And was it ever specified _when_ you had to file your report?" Link supposed not. "Exactly. So until they execute their plan, you're sticking with me."

Link agreed to these terms, telling himself that there was logic behind it.

(He refused to acknowledge his moral compass which was growing at an unnaturally fast rate, as if someone was condensing a month into a day.)

"Good. Let's go!"

And so the pair wandered around the forest with no real destination in mind, though it wasn't as if they had any sense of direction in the territory. Link didn't know the area, and Allen didn't know his away around despite the fact that he trained there often. Just as the coniferous trees gave way to a grove of bamboo, Allen passed out from hunger. Link started recording it by scratching a stick into the dirt. As he wrote, he heard a rustling sound of leaves being moved and the _SKRSHHHHH_ sound of something be dragged as well as the _TMP TMP TMP_ of footsteps, but he ignored it in favor of his observations. When he finished and looked up, he discovered that Allen Walker and Timcanpy had disappeared.

"...Blast."

This was not good.

* * *

When Allen woke up, he found himself lying in an unfamiliar bed, staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, and surrounded by unfamiliar people. There was also an IV drip attached to his arm.

"Ah, he's awake," noted the one propped against the bed, an orange-haired girl with a purple headpiece. She let out a yawn. "My job is done. I'm going to sleep." Then she shoved Allen off of the bed and took his place. "Thanks for warming it up for me." She stifled another yawn and pulled the blanket over her head.

"...What?" Allen asked, disoriented. An older man with gray hair quickly pulled the IV needle out of his arm before it could dig even further in and stab something it shouldn't.

"I'm sorry about her," apologized a blonde man. "Fou can be a bit... rude."

"Yes," piped up a girl with braids and glasses, leaning over to help him up. "She means well, though."

"I see..." Allen mumbled, accepting her help and looking up.

But then she blushed bright red and fell over. Two other men dove to catch her before she hit the floor. "Lou Fa!"

Allen blinked. "Uh..."

Some order was brought to the fiasco when an elderly man came in with a large platter of fried rice. "I heard the boy's awake? I thought he might be hungry."

Allen immediately decided who the person he liked the most out of the whole group was as he gratefully took the food and quelled his appetite. "Thank you," he said between mouthfuls as he snarfed down the meal. "I thought I was going to die of hunger."

After the beast that is known as Allen's stomach was tamed, he gave them all the rundown of what he was doing in the middle of a bamboo forest. They all agreed that Leverrier had finally lost his mind and they were more than willing to allow Allen to stay for as long as he'd like.

And so their days were spent mostly in peace. Allen trained with Fou, Lou Fa (the girl) continued to turn red when she saw him, Li Kei and Shifu (the ones who'd broken her fall) teased her, Zhu (the old man who cooked) was a wealth of information when it came to Kanda's fighting style and techniques, Bak (the blonde man) turned out to be an old friend of Komui's, and Wong (the other old guy) mother henned everyone, particularly Bak.

Unfortunately, the peace had to end sometime. Hostility arrived in the form of one Yuu Kanda.

"Link returned to the castle," he said in explanation to Allen's questioning stare.

(It was a good thing that Fou was taking a break, or Allen's inattentiveness would have resulted in his head being chopped off.)

"And then he told Leverrier that you're alive! I thought you were supposed to keep an eye on him, moyashi!"

"It's _Allen_!" the blancette snapped back. "And that's kind of hard to do since I passed out from hunger and woke up here!"

"Whatever," Kanda grunted, tossing a ribbon at him. "The stupid king sent this for you." Then he walked past the beansprout and called to Zhu, asking for him to do some maintenance on Mugen.

"A green ribbon? It clashes with your hair."

Allen jumped in surprise when Fou's voice rang out behind him, reflexively lashing out with his left arm that immediately transformed into a clawed hand. Fou jumped up to dodge and landed on his arm. "It does not," he protested as they resumed their sparring match. Fou threw a barrage of kicks at him, and he backpedaled rapidly to avoid it. "It's not like I wear it in my hair or anything like that. I use it in place of a necktie is all."

"Still clashes," Fou grunted, ducking to avoid one of his own kicks and uppercutting with one of her bladed hands. He jerked his head away just in time to avoid being beheaded. "But no accounting for fashion taste, I guess."

"Like you're one to talk," he scoffed, bumping into the wall behind him. He jumped and aimed a flying kick at her head, but she caught his foot and threw him. He coughed out wall dust as he got up, then tumbled out of the way when she tried taking another slice at him. They went on like this until Kanda tried to join and Zhu decided it was time for dinner. Allen went back to his room to change out of his sweaty training clothes and shower (Fou's hygiene was somehow still fine after all that), and he decided to use the ribbon Kanda had delivered that was already placed conveniently on his dresser.

(The fact that Lou Fa and Li Kei had taken his other ribbons to experiment on them was another big reason, but he thought Timcanpy ate the ribbons again.)

Just as he finished tying it on, it tightened around his neck, choking him. Kanda sensed that some outside force was trying to kill _his_ target, so he stood up from the dining table and stalked over to Allen's room which was located next to the kitchen for obvious reasons. Throwing the door open, he saw that the beansprout was being choked by the ribbon. Kanda drew Mugen without a second thought and sliced off the ribbon (and nearly took Allen's head off in the process).

Their typical argument and fight ensued only to be stopped by Fou whacking them both on the head and dragging them back to the table.

After that fiasco, Lou Fa, Li Kei, and Shifu were assigned to check all packages that arrived in the mail and ensure that they were not meant to off someone- specifically Allen.

(Kanda always took his own parcels before the trio could get to them. He hated it when people stuck their noses into his business.)

* * *

"Mirror, mirror, on the stand, who's the most powerful in the land?"

"Still Allen," Tyki sighed, shaking his head exasperatedly. Had he mentioned how much the people he had to work with bothered him?

"Why isn't he dead?!" Leverrier demanded, enraged. Honestly, even if Kanda hadn't found Allen and failed to deliver the cursed ribbon, the boy should have at least died of hunger.

Tyki shrugged. "Try again."

* * *

The next day, Johnny arrived with Lenalee and Lavi in tow and a new uniform in his hands.

"I don't think this is safe, Allen," Johnny warned when the white-haired boy started to put on the jacket. "I made it myself and saw all the materials, but the king took it away after it was completed and sent us after Kanda with it to give to you. We didn't have time see what he did to it, but we couldn't check because..." He glanced behind himself.

And behind him stood one Howard Link, thoroughly ashamed of having lost track of charge and eager to make up for it in the eyes of his superiors. In this case, he was to stalk Johnny's group until they reached Allen Walker and then continue to watch until the target dropped dead from the gift.

Either way, Allen had already donned the jacket. "...This probably isn't a good thing, is it," was all he managed before the jacket started bending in ways that the human body cannot accomplish, trying to transform its wearer into a human pretzel. Lenalee was the first to react, yelling his name and trying to pull it off of him. Kanda was next, drawing Mugen once again.

Lavi decided to interrupt. "Fire seal! Conflagration of ash!" he shouted, swinging down his hammer. A pillar of flames erupted from the ground beneath Allen who managed to fight the jacket long enough to shove Lenalee away before the fire could get to her.

(Kanda also tried to leap away, but he was not fast enough and ended up with singed hair. Lavi later became a training dummy for the offense.)

Unfortunately, the tactic was ineffective. Johnny had done too good of a job, and the jacket was fireproof. On the other side of the luck spectrum, he was able to get it off once the flames died down with the help of a handy dandy pair of scissors.

And thus Link was stuck following Allen until one of four things happened: the order was rescinded, he died, his charge died, or Leverrier died.

* * *

Speaking of the king, he was now at his wit's end. All attempts at killing Allen had ended in failure, and he still wasn't the most powerful in the land.

Tyki was still exasperated, but he was also amused. Seeing this guy fail was... kind of getting fun. The king was pacing once more; the castle staff had already ordered some cement to fill the trench he was wearing into his floor.

"I don't understand!" Leverrier roared suddenly. "Nobody is unkillable! How is he still alive?!"

Tyki rolled his eyes. "How should I know? You've only ordered his death three times. Don't you think you're giving up too easily?" he taunted.

Leverrier raised a chair. Tyki quickly backpedaled.

"Whoa, whoa, now, breaking a mirror is seven years of bad luck, you know?" he said frantically. He couldn't actually be harmed, but his cover would be blown if it broke.

"...The next day, when the queen dressed herself, she went over to her mirror and said: 'Mirror! Mirror in your stand! Who is the fairest in the land? I perhaps? Or my daughters?' Still the mirror answered: 'Snow White in the mountain, with the seven wild dwarves!' When the queen heard this she was furiously angry, and called on her youngest daughter, and told her to walk through the forest to the mountain, and sigh, and weep for Snow White, and when she came inside, she should give her an apple: then Snow White would die." There was a gentle _PAF_ as the story book was shut.

"Oh, Road," Tyki noted. "What are you doing here?" By 'here,' he was referring to the little room that was built behind the wall the mirror rested against. Actually, now might be a good time to explain how it worked.

The mirror started out as a real mirror that was placed above a stand and nailed to the wall. While everyone else was absent from the king's chambers, one of the Millennium Earl's minions replaced it with regular see-through glass and connected it to a small trapezoidal prism-shaped closet that was reinforced with a new brick wall that had no doors. An actual mirror was placed in the back wall (which also happened to be the largest base to ensure that a casual glance would show a regular mirror with no walls), and black curtains were stationed at either side of it for when Tyki gave his 'spirit in the mirror' performance. With his ability to pass through objects, he was the best candidate for the job. The only other person who could get in was...

Road. With her ability to create doors, she also could have technically brought someone with her. But back to the story, she was standing in the trick mirror closet with a copy _Snow White_ in her hands. "Why don't we try the method from the story?" she giggled. "Except with a _real_ poisoned apple, not a magic one. What do you say?" And yes, she was the one who had suggested the magic mirror approach.

King Leverrier didn't waste a moment on consideration. "Agreed."

"Good, good," Road giggled. "At the entrance of the forest, you'll find an apple- half red as blood and half green as poison. Disguise yourself as a harmless beggar and bring the apple to Allen at the headquarters of the Black Order's Asian branch."

"They'll be suspicious, so be sure to take a bite out of it," Tyki added. It was the best method to prove the apparent safety of the fruit, after all. "I trust you know which side?"

"Of course," Leverrier said, stalking out of the room. "And this time, I won't fail..."

* * *

 _Knock, knock._

"Who could that be?" Lenalee wondered, landing on the ground. Fou shrugged and catapulted herself off of Allen's back to strike Kanda only to leap out of the way at the last second, leaving her partner to launch an attack from their opponent's blind spot. Lavi was sitting off to the side and taking note on the techniques and combinations that were being used.

"Who knows?" Lavi yawned, rubbing his eye. The quartet had been battling in groups of two since the early morning to improve their teamwork, and it was by now late evening. The fair weather earlier in the day had taken a turn for the worse, and it was storming with a vengeance outside. "Can't say they're very wise to be out in that weather, though."

"Well, if that's the case, we should let them in," Lenalee decided, opening the door.

In stepped a hunched figure cloaked in a sopping wet fabric, a basket of apples beaded with raindrops clutched in their hands. "Hello," they rasped. "I'm looking for shelter from the storm."

"Go ahead and stay here," Fou said flippantly, exiting the battle. The remaining contenders forewent the use of their weapons and began a disorderly brawl. "We've already taken in these four misfits, plus two more. Another won't matter." She yawned and melted into the now shut door. "Good night."

"You're all very kind," the visitor said, though their voice sounded strained and stiff. "Tell me, would you like some apples as thanks?"

"Apples?!" Allen cheered, zipping over to stand in front of them. Kanda's punch met air.

"Er... Yes, apples," the figure coughed, plucking a half ripe one from their basket. One side was a ruby red; the other was an odd, neon shade of green. "They're delicious, see?" They moved to take a chomp out of the red side, but Timcanpy chose that exact moment to zoom into the room and crash into their hand, jostling it- and the apple.

"Timcanpy!" Allen scolded. "Apologize!" The little golem drooped and bowed itself, its posture suggesting regret.

"...Right, er," the cloaked one recovered, "that's quite alright." Then they took a bite out of the apple.

And chewed.

And swallowed.

The green side.

They immediately fell to the ground, foaming at the mouth and choking as the poison took effect. The hood fell off to reveal that they was far from a peasant; in fact, they were the tyrannical king of the kingdom.

And then he died.

Allen blinked. "...Eh?"

Kanda snorted, now standing over the corpse. He kicked it to confirm that Leverrier was dead. "Poison, probably. Looks like he figured out food is the way to get you, moyashi."

"Shut up, JerKanda," Allen said absently, patting Timcanpy lightly. "If Tim hadn't shown up..."

The rest of the apples were then carted off to the laboratories and carted to the kitchens after being thoroughly tested and proven harmless. Link put his baking skills to use and created an amazing three-layer apple pie, and everyone celebrated.

(No one told him about Leverrier's death until after he had made the pie. Further investigation revealed that it was a poison created by the Noah.)

Allen and company returned to the kingdom, and with the support of the entire science division of the Order (plus the countless Komurins Lenalee's older brother Komui made), he assumed the throne. Of course, he didn't know squat about ruling and politics, preferring instead to be out in the field with his comrades and saving people, so he passed the crown onto Klaud Nyne as was suggested far earlier in the story before setting out on a journey to find his teacher. Queen Klaud's reign was long and prosperous, and her greatest decision as ruler was pushing the Order to promote Allen and Kanda to General status which was also the turning point of the war with the Noah.

(Though the final battle was rather anti-climactic... Allen and Kanda had gotten into another argument, the Earl tried to interrupt, and he was destroyed in the crossfire.)

And so everyone lived happily ever after. The end.

"Allen! Chief let another Komurin loose again!"

"What?! Where's Lenalee?!"

"Out on a mission! We need to get this dealt with before Gener- I mean, Queen Klaud returns from her diplomatic visit!"

"Che! Who let that idiot near the scrap pile again?! Was it you, baka usagi?!"

"I swear it wasn't!"

"SIR KOMURIN M! DESTROY THESE OCTOPI!"

"GWAH!"

Well... Sort of.

 **(A/N: The ending is legit my favorite part. What about you? Please review!)**


End file.
